He did it again. He opened his mouth wide and shoved his foot in there as far as it would go. As such, I stared at him in shock. Mumbled something about needing to watch what he says because it sounded like he was calling me fat. He bumbled through some "I wasn't calling you fat though" sentiments and I walked out of the room. I needed a moment to collect myself and stop what could either come out as sobs or screams well enough to say something coherent and meaningful. And I did: "You know, I'm serious about this. If you can't be bothered to pay a compliment, if you find it too difficult or it makes you feel silly to tell me 'Hey, you look pretty' once in a while then you need to learn to stop and seriously think before saying things that may come out of your mouth as an insult, even if you don't intend them to. You have no idea how much it hurts me and my already fragile self-esteem to live my life at this moment thinking my boyfriend thinks I'm fat and ugly even after I've lost 30+ pounds and am finally starting to like my physical self again." There wasn't much he said to that.
I still feel vaguely like crying, but I feel somewhat better having articulated what was bothering me very explicitly and directly this time.
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