Let's also remember that today many other, non-famous, men, women, and children died around the world from starvation, AIDS, preventable diseases, childhood cancers, accidents, war, genocide, etc. By all means, "RIP" to the famous who passed, but let's keep things in perspective and reserve the word "tragedy" for the things that really deserve the title.

Not to say heart attacks and anal cancer aren't... dammit. You catch my meaning.

Wright State invited me to fill out this survey on that topic (and Facebook in general) and the last question was an open-ended one where I got to state just what the title of this note says. I am going to paste my answer and invite anyone who reads this to leave their two cents on the subject as a comment.



I feel the use of Facebook as a hiring tool can be quite ridiculous. For years people have had their work lives and their social lives with little overlap and without the fear of employers peering over their shoulders at every turn. Now, employers think the advent of Facebook gives them the right to do just that and it seems a little twisted. How many people that were hired in the past do you want to bet drank or partied or went to political rallies in their time off or before they found a real "adult" job? Probably just as many as do now, but with Facebook comes easier access to that information and picture proof. No, I don't think it is bad to use Facebook in a limited capacity for getting to know a potential employee, but even considering basing the hiring of someone off it is poor judgment. It is still the internet and as we've learned from sites like snopes.com, not everything you will read or see on the vast world wide web is the complete truth.

*sigh* No, really. I'm tired of reading about reasonable, smart people I know freaking out about the Swine Flu. Enough is enough. Please read on:



i seem to be missing something about this swine flue pandemic. for one, it's a strain of the flu virus. the flu virus is notorious for frequent mutations and is difficult to predict which strain to use in flu vaccines. and, yes, this doesn't come from strain a or b which are the most common strains of seasonal flu, but the spread of this strain seems to be no different from a typical flu spread. oh, but people die from this strain. really, and people don't die from other strains of the flu? in a typical flu season, about 36,000 people die from the flu*. so, we need to freak out about this why?

but the w.h.o. raised their level of alert from 4 to 5**! yeah, level five means that an outbreak has been confirmed in at least two w.h.o. countries and that a global pandemic is imminent. well, what is a pandemic, anyway? that's where a non-seasonal virus spreads easily from person to person around the globe. note the total lack of equating pandemic with panic and freak out.

so, let's recap: this strain of flu virus is contagious, just like any other strain of flu. this strain has killed triple-digit humans. the cdc states that a typical flu season kills on average quintuple-digit humans.

and are you really more likely to get swine flu than a seasonal flu without a flu vaccine? i know of three people who got the flu this winter AND had flu shots. i opted for not getting vaccinated and managed to stay healthy. am i lucky? perhaps, but i also do my part to take simple steps like washing my hands regularly (not compulsively), making sure to cough and sneeze into my arms, and not going to work when i'm ill. gosh, i don't even carry a little bottle of hand sanitizer around everywhere i go.

so, news media, can we stop with the 24/7 coverage? let's be reasonable and focus on diseases that we know already affect tens of millions of people worldwide like heart disease and cancer, instead of those that might. no amount of discussion and coverage is going to increase people taking appropriate steps to stay healthy.




*Influenza (the flu) is a contagious respiratory illness caused by influenza viruses. It can cause mild to severe illness, and at times can lead to death. The best way to prevent the flu is by getting a flu vaccination each year. Every year in the United States, on average 5% to 20% of the population gets the flu; more than 200,000 people are hospitalized from flu complications, and; about 36,000 people die from flu-related causes. Some people, such as older people, young children, and people with certain health conditions, are at high risk for serious flu complications. (From the CDC's website.)

**Phase 5 is characterized by human-to-human spread of the virus into at least two countries in one WHO region. While most countries will not be affected at this stage, the declaration of Phase 5 is a strong signal that a pandemic is imminent and that the time to finalize the organization, communication, and implementation of the planned mitigation measures is short.

He did it again. He opened his mouth wide and shoved his foot in there as far as it would go. As such, I stared at him in shock. Mumbled something about needing to watch what he says because it sounded like he was calling me fat. He bumbled through some "I wasn't calling you fat though" sentiments and I walked out of the room. I needed a moment to collect myself and stop what could either come out as sobs or screams well enough to say something coherent and meaningful. And I did: "You know, I'm serious about this. If you can't be bothered to pay a compliment, if you find it too difficult or it makes you feel silly to tell me 'Hey, you look pretty' once in a while then you need to learn to stop and seriously think before saying things that may come out of your mouth as an insult, even if you don't intend them to. You have no idea how much it hurts me and my already fragile self-esteem to live my life at this moment thinking my boyfriend thinks I'm fat and ugly even after I've lost 30+ pounds and am finally starting to like my physical self again." There wasn't much he said to that.

I still feel vaguely like crying, but I feel somewhat better having articulated what was bothering me very explicitly and directly this time.

I feel rather ugly right now.

I've lost somewhere in the ball park of 30 pounds since the end of December and I know I'm starting to feel better and I notice that I'm looking thinner, but no one else notices unless I make it clear to them that I'm working on it. Even my best friend, who I hadn't seen since very early January (read January 2), didn't say anything or seem to notice I've lost weight. I know I have, the scale keeps going down and I'm at least a size smaller than I was in all my clothes, but I want to hear it, to have it recognized. My internal motivation steers wildly off course when I think what I'm doing is without results.

John, whether or not he meant to, has said some things recently that came out *very* badly and has shoved his foot deeper into his proverbial mouth a time or two too many in the last week. On top of that, it seems the only times he calls me "sexy" or anything positive in regards to my appearance he is half kidding or joking around. He used to tell me I was cute or looked nice far more often than this. I still tell him when he looks cute or looks nice all dressed up but he seems to always only manage to mumble a "I don't know. I'm a guy and not metro," response. It's getting to me. He said one of the things that got to him about his ex before me was that she had to seek out validation of her attractiveness to men with guys besides him, as if she wasn't happy with just his attention. I'm starting to think I might get why she was like that (to an extent because, let's be honest, I like and have hung out with her a number of times, but she is rather vain and needing of the lime light.) because I'm starting to feel like I need to do it. I don't want to, trust me on that, because I know that it can only lead to accusations of cheating or guys thinking I'm leading them on, but a part of me really craves to know that I look good (at least sometimes) and hear it from people other than close friends or family, people who might be attracted to me.

Is this wrong of me, this craving some kind of validation in my appearance? Is it wrong of me to be really upset in this moment by any and all of this?

I honestly don't know.